Say You're Sorry (Sacramento Series, The) - Softcover

Karen Rose is the award-winning, #1 international bestselling author of some twenty novels, including the bestselling Baltimore and Cincinnati series. She has been translated into twenty-three languages and her books have placed on the New York Times, the Sunday Times (UK), and Germany’s der Spiegel bestseller lists.

Say You’re Sorry by Karen Rose
***This excerpt is from an advance, uncorrected proof***
Berkley
New York
Copyright © 2019 by Karen Hafer

Prologue
Sacramento, California
Saturday, December 10, 11:15 p.m.

Good. She was waking up. Took her long enough.

He took a drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke into her face. A coughing fit ensued and by the time she’d calmed down, her dark eyes were open and staring up at him.

She was scared. This pleased him. He smiled down at her. They were always scared and this always pleased him.

He sat back in his chair, watching as she struggled against her bonds. They always did that, too. But they never got free. He tied a very strong knot. It was one of his best talents.

He waited until she’d given up, until her gaze fixed on his face and recognition set in. “You,” she whispered. “From the diner.”

“Me,” he replied agreeably. From the tired old diner on the outskirts of Portland. Getting her home had been a pain in the ass. She took up much more space than he’d expected. She was curvier than most of the guests he brought home. It would be a nice change.

She yanked on her bonds again, a token effort only. Her lips trembled. “Where are my clothes?”
“Burned.”

“Why?”

He stood up, pulled lazily at his tie, aware that she was following his every move. “Because you won’t be needing them anymore.”

She shook her head, appropriately agitated. “Why are you doing this?”

He unbuttoned his shirt as her eyes flicked all around the room, looking for help. Looking for escape. There would be none. He grabbed her hand from where he’d tied it to the headboard and ran his thumb over her left ring finger, following the indentation that was all that remained of her wedding vows.

“Does he know you’re gone?” he asked softly.

Her gaze flew to her ring finger and she tried to pull her hand away, but, of course, she couldn’t. Slowly she nodded.

“Did he let you go?”

Another nod, but her eyes flickered away. He squeezed her hand hard enough to make her gasp. “Do not lie to me, Miriam.”

He was surprised when her eyes flared with a sudden fury. “That is not my name,” she ground out. “My name is Eileen.”

“The locket says Miriam.” He held up the heart-shaped silver charm, letting it dangle between them, watching it gleam as it caught the low light from the bedside lamp. He set it to swing, like a hypnotist’s watch. “Did you steal it?”

She swallowed hard, momentarily mesmerized by the swinging locket. Then her jaw hardened. “No.”
“Then, if it’s yours, you are Miriam.”

She closed her eyes. “No, I am not.”

It was really immaterial at this point, but her little show of temper had intrigued him. “Then who is Miriam?”

A tear ran down her cheek. “Who I used to be.”

“Ah. So your husband is looking for Miriam. Not Eileen.”

She clamped her lips shut, giving him his answer.

Good. He hadn’t been terribly worried that anyone would be tracking her down. The woman had a solitary, hunted air to her, like she always looked over her shoulder. Like she was hiding. That worked for him.

He ran his thumb over the locket, feeling the etched lines of the engraved Miriam on the back, then the symbol on the front. “An olive tree, two kneeling children, all protected by these beautiful outstretched angel wings.” She’d winced at the word “protected.” If it had been a talisman, it was a piss-poor one. It certainly hadn’t protected her. “What does it mean?”

Again her jaw tightened and she looked away. He gripped her chin and yanked her back. “Don’t ignore me,” he warned.

She clenched her eyes shut, so he covered her mouth and pinched her nose closed. “Look at me,” he growled, all fascination with her gone. He was angry again, which was how it was supposed to be. Her eyes flew open, terrified as she began to struggle to get free. He removed his hand and allowed her to breathe, smiling at her frantic gasps for air.

He gripped her chin again, much harder this time. “Say you’re sorry, Miriam.” He gave her a hard shake. “Say you’re sorry.”

Stubbornly she clamped her lips together.

His lips curved. Excellent. He’d make her say it before he was through and he’d enjoy every moment of the effort. Because they always said it, sooner or later.

Usually as they begged him to let them die.

Chapter One
Sacramento, California
Thursday, February 16, 8:15 p.m.

“Daisy?”

Daisy Dawson flinched when Trish’s finger poked her upper arm. “What?” she asked, knowing she’d been distracted. She returned her attention to her friend, who’d stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, a worried expression on her face. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

Trish frowned. “What’s wrong with you tonight? You’re jumpy. Is it because of Gus? Do I need to call Rosemary?”

Daisy rolled her shoulders, trying to relieve the tension in her muscles. It didn’t relax her any more than it eliminated the tickle at the back of her neck. Because someone was watching her. Following her.

Again. Thanks a lot for keeping your word, Dad, she thought bitterly. She’d thought they’d had an agreement. She’d thought he trusted her. She’d been wrong. Again. She wanted to scream, to rage. To call him right now and tell him to stay the fuck out of her life.

A rough, wet tongue licking her fingers had her tamping her temper down. Absently she reached into the pet sling that she wore cross-body and scratched behind Brutus’s enormous wing-shaped ears. “Shh, girl,” she murmured, and the dog immediately settled. “It’s okay.” I’m okay. Which wasn’t exactly true, not that Brutus would believe her anyway. The little dog knew when she was spiraling, knew when she was on edge, and did what she’d been trained to do—distracting Daisy before her spiral became a meltdown. Drawing a breath, she smiled tightly for Trish’s benefit. “No, let Rosemary go home to her family. She’s earned it.”

Because tonight had been a hard night for all of them, especially Rosemary.

Trish’s eyes welled with new tears that she didn’t try to hide. It was just the two of them and Trish knew she didn’t have to pretend around Daisy. “Poor Gus.”

“Yeah.” Keeping one hand on Brutus, Daisy lifted her other hand to Trish’s face to wipe away the tears. “I guess he just couldn’t handle the grief of losing his wife.”

“Maybe he didn’t want to,” Trish whispered.

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.” All Daisy knew was that the man’s death from alcohol poisoning had hit Rosemary hard. Seeing their sponsor cry like that as she’d told them of Gus’s death had left Daisy shaken and feeling helpless. Daisy hated feeling helpless.

Trish bit at her lip. “He’d been sober for fifteen years, DD. Fifteen years. He was a sponsor even. He was Rosemary’s sponsor. How can we expect to—”

Daisy cut her off by pressing a finger to Trish’s lips. “Stop. You cannot compare yourself to Gus or anyone else. He was grieving. His wife died. They’d been married for fifty years. You said it yourself—maybe he wanted to die. Maybe this was just his way.”

Trish nodded shakily. “I know.” She straightened her shoulders and took a swipe at each eye with her sleeve. “You’re right.”

Daisy gave her a one-armed hug. “I’m usually right.”

Trish snorted. “You wish.”

Daisy laughed. “If I said we needed hot fudge sundaes with extra nuts, would I be right about that?”

“Yes, but that’s a given. We always have sundaes after a meeting.”

Daisy linked arms with Trish and they began walking toward the diner where their sundaes awaited. “What were you saying before?”

“Oh. I wanted to know if you were volunteering this weekend at the pet store.”

“I am.” Daisy smiled up at Trish, who was at least five inches taller. “Are you wanting to volunteer or adopt?”

“Adopt?” Trish said it more as a question. “I was thinking about a cat. Something to come home to, but not something I’d have to walk. Not with my crazy schedule.”

“I think that’s a great idea. So does Brutus, don’t you, girl?” Brutus popped her head out of the sling that doubled as Daisy’s handbag, her tongue out in the cutest way possible. “See? She says yes.”

Trish laughed. “Of course she does. She’s biased, though, coming from the shelter herself. You really lucked out, finding a Chion puppy at a shelter. She is a Chion, right? I looked up Papillon-Chihuahua mixes. That’s what the article called them.”

“Some people call them Papihuahuas,” Daisy said. Whatever breed she was called, Brutus was perfect and necessary. “My dad found her, actually, while I was in rehab. One of the therapists had a service dog that helped him control his anxiety, which helped him maintain his sobriety. Dad went looking for a dog that could be trained to do the same for me when I got out. She was the runt of the litter, which was why I named her Brutus. She was so tiny that I figured she needed all the help she could get.”

“I wondered about her name. Although she looks like a Gizmo to me.”

Daisy laughed. With her large bat ears, Brutus did look like the little creature from Gremlins. “She does. Before the gremlins turned evil, that is. Gizmo was my sister Julie’s suggestion when Dad first brought her home.”

“If I could find a dog this little and this cute, I might rethink a cat, but I couldn’t bring a dog to work.”

“Well, not where you work now. Which we need to change,” Daisy said firmly. “I couldn’t work in a bar. You’re not being fair to yourself, Trish.”

“I know. I’m looking. I’ve got applications out everywhere. It’s not just having the booze all around me. It’s also the drunken, grabby assholes who do not take no for an answer. I really hate them.”
Daisy frowned at that. “Is somebody bothering you?”

“Not really. There was a guy today who was . . . belligerent. Just wouldn’t take no for an answer. I stopped smiling when he ‘accidentally’ brushed his hand over my ass. Told him that I’d have him thrown out. He got mean after that, insulting me. A real tool, you know?”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “Oh, I know.” Because her cohost at the radio station was the same way.
Trish frowned. “Is Tad bothering you again?”

Daisy shrugged. Trish was the only person she’d told about the smarmy Tad. “Same old, same old. Little digs, meant to throw me off my game. I can handle Tad, for now anyway. If the time comes when I can’t, I’ll report him. Did you report this guy who bothered you?”

“I did. I had to. My manager finally did throw him out. The guy kept baiting me, like he wanted me to react. Normally I’d just wave that off, but I was on edge to start with. I had a big test this morning and I’m not sure how I did.”

“I’ll help you look at the job listings when I’m done at the pet store adoption clinic on Saturday.” A new job for Trish didn’t need to be permanent, just not at a bar. When she finished dental assistant school, she’d be able to get a good job. “I checked again at the radio station, but they’re not hiring right now.”

Which made Daisy wince, because she knew that she’d only been hired because her boss and her father were old friends. It was something that Tad never let her forget. Which was why she hadn’t yet reported him. She didn’t want to give him any more ammunition against her.
“I appreciate you asking anyway,” Trish said. “I’ll—”

A sound behind them had Daisy stopping abruptly once again. It was a shuffle, the scrape of a shoe on concrete. A quick glance over her shoulder showed a familiar-looking man wearing a baseball cap ducking into an alley. Dad’s losing his touch. He used to be able to hire people she couldn’t see or hear.

Trish was frowning again. “What’s wrong?”

Daisy lowered her voice to barely a whisper. “My dad’s having me followed again. I can hear the guy behind us.”

Trish’s frown deepened. “Again?”

“Yeah,” Daisy said grimly. “He hired a guy to follow me when I was backpacking across Europe last summer. Pissed me off so bad that I came back early and Dad and I had it out. He promised never to do that to me again, but I guess he doesn’t trust me after all.”

“He had you followed?” Trish asked, dumbfounded. “Why?”

“He was worried I’d fall off the wagon. That’s what he said, anyway.” Daisy still had her doubts, thinking it was more about her father’s inability to break from a lifetime of paranoia. It had killed her sister. It nearly killed me. It had certainly stolen what had remained of her childhood. She wasn’t going to allow it to ruin her life, no manner how well-meaning her father’s intentions might be.

Trish made a face. “Pretty ironic seeing as the guy is following you from an AA meeting. Do you know who it is?”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “Yeah. It’s our old ranch hand, Jacob. We grew up together. He’s like the brother I never had, but I’m still going to kick his ass.” Which she’d done when she’d caught him lurking in the shadows of a Paris alley, much as he was doing now.

Trish’s lips twitched. “Can I watch? My cable’s been out for two months.” She made another face. “The cable people apparently like to be paid.”

Daisy patted her shoulder in sympathy. Trish barely made a living wage at the bar. “Go to the diner and put in our order. I’ll meet you there.”

Trish shook her head. “I don’t care if he is your friend. I’m not leaving you alone.”

“I’ll be fine. Jacob is a like a cuddly lamb. A six-foot-two-inch, two-hundred-pound lamb. Seriously, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Go on. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”

Daisy briefly considered confronting Jacob in the alley, but annoyance had her following the path Trish had taken, then veering off to quickly duck into an alley of her own. Jacob deserved to have the shit scared out of him for following her again. He’d promised to let her live her life independently, just as her father had.

She ground her teeth. Damn them both. She was not a child. I wasn’t allowed to be one. She was twenty-five years old, living on her own and doing just fine, all by herself. Well, not by herself, but with the support of people she’d chosen for the job.

She heard Jacob’s footsteps seconds before he passed by. Leaping from the alley, she grabbed a handful of his bulky padded jacket and yanked him back. He spun around in surprise, the brim of his baseball cap hiding his face.

“The Giants?” she mocked. “That’s the best disguise you could manage? You thought I wouldn’t notice you because you’re wearing a Giants cap?” Because he’d never be caught dead wearing a Giants anything. They were both Oakland fans.

She reached up and snatched the cap from his head, realizing only a millisecond later that she’d hadn’t had to reach up far enough. He was too short.

Because he wasn’t Jacob.

She took a step back, the gasp stuck in her throat, her pulse instantly going supersonic as the man glared down at her, his dark eyes barely visible behind the nylon stocking covering his face. Distorting his features.

She turned to run, but it was too late. His arm wrapped around her throat, yanking h...